What Does it Mean to Unmask Neurodivergence?

By: Cat Salladin

Masking is a complex and often misunderstood behavior in neurodivergent individuals. It involves consciously or unconsciously hiding, suppressing, or altering certain aspects of one’s true self to conform to social expectations or to fit in with neurotypical norms. While masking can be a survival strategy, it is often exhausting. It can lead to significant mental, emotional, and physical strain—many neurodivergent individuals mask, which can prevent them from receiving accurate diagnoses until later in life. Personally, I learned to mask my autistic traits from a very young age, which caused a great deal of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Masking is an important aspect of the neurodivergent experience to understand and accommodate, and learning to unmask can be not only beneficial but entirely life-changing. 
 

What is Masking?

Masking refers to the process of concealing or suppressing behaviors, traits, or aspects of identity that may not be accepted or understood in mainstream society. For neurodivergent individuals, masking often means pretending to be neurotypical by hiding behaviors that are seen as socially unacceptable, such as stimming, avoiding eye contact, or using repetitive speech patterns. Oftentimes, masking is ingrained from a very early age, which can make it happen pretty subconsciously and be very difficult to identify and unlearn. 

Masking in general can appear like: 
 

• Mimicking social behaviors of neurotypical people (e.g., forcing eye contact, using typical conversational patterns)
   

• Suppressing stimming
   

• Forcing oneself to follow social rules that feel unnatural or uncomfortable
   

• Adjusting speech, tone, or posture to align with neurotypical norms
   

• Hiding sensory sensitivities or emotional reactions
   

In short, masking is a coping mechanism that neurodivergent individuals use to navigate a world that is often unaccommodating or judgmental of their differences. While it can help them avoid stigma or discrimination, it comes at a high personal cost.
 

Which Neurotypes Tend to Mask?

Masking is most commonly associated with neurodivergent individuals, particularly those who are autistic or ADHD. However, it is not exclusive to these groups—people with anxiety, depression, or trauma histories may also engage in masking behaviors to navigate social situations.
 

1. Autistic Individuals

Autistic people are perhaps the most well-known group that engages in masking. Autistic masking, sometimes called "camouflaging," involves hiding autistic traits in order to fit in with neurotypical peers. This may involve forcing oneself to maintain eye contact, suppressing stimming, or imitating social behaviors that don’t come naturally. 

Autistic masking is especially common in women and gender-nonconforming individuals. Research shows that autistic girls and women often mask more than their male counterparts, leading to a higher likelihood of being late-diagnosed or misdiagnosed. This discrepancy is thought to be due to societal pressures on women to be socially adept and emotionally attuned, driving many autistic women to mask their neurodivergence from a young age. The Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) is a tool that aims to measure autistic masking. 

Personally, I recognized from a young age that I didn’t know what my “true personality” was. However, despite knowing that I felt like I was “acting” in many situations and would change my personality to fit the people around me, I did not know that this was due to masking autistic traits. Because I masked being autistic so much, I was not diagnosed with autism until I was 23. Learning about how much I mask really helped me figure out my identity and discover who I really am inside. 
 

2. ADHDers

People with ADHD also engage in masking, though it may look different from autistic masking. For someone with ADHD, masking might involve suppressing hyperactive behaviors, such as fidgeting or interrupting conversations, or pretending to focus when they are internally distracted. Masking for ADHDers can also include hiding executive functioning challenges, like the struggle to stay organized or manage time, in order to meet the expectations of school, work, or social situations.

Women and gender-diverse people with ADHD are also more likely to mask. These individuals may feel pressure to appear calm, organized, and attentive, masking their true level of struggle with tasks that demand sustained focus or time management. As a result, women and genderqueer individuals with ADHD are often diagnosed later in life, if at all. 

Often, masking the hyperactive aspect of one’s ADHD may result in increased anxiety or other mental health issues. The brain and body may still be experiencing hyperactivity, but, because the person is hiding it, it presents instead as panic, nervousness, or anxiety. 
 

3. Individuals with Anxiety or Social Phobia

Masking is also common in individuals with anxiety or social phobia. These individuals may hide their fear, discomfort, or panic in social situations by forcing themselves to appear calm, composed, and socially engaged. Masking, in this case, is a way to avoid judgment or negative attention, but it can also contribute to burnout and feelings of isolation.

Many neurodivergent people also experience anxiety due to being overstimulated, not having adequate preparation or plans, or other reasons. For autistic people, masking this anxiety can lead to meltdowns and shutdowns. For ADHDers, masking their anxiety may result in worsened executive dysfunction or ability to focus.
 

4. People with Trauma Histories

Individuals who have experienced trauma may mask as a way to cope with feelings of vulnerability or fear. Trauma survivors may develop masking behaviors to protect themselves from further harm, such as appearing stoic, detached, or emotionally unresponsive. In this way, masking becomes a defense mechanism, helping them navigate environments that feel unsafe. 

Many neurodivergent people have experienced trauma at some point in their lives. Because the world is not designed for neurodivergent brains, things that may not seem traumatic to neurotypical people may be quite traumatic to a neurodivergent nervous system. Masking this can take additional effort and energy that the person may not have to spare. 
 

Why Do People Mask?

People mask for many reasons, but the core motivators are usually related to safety, acceptance, and social survival. 
 

• Fear rejection or discrimination: Many neurodivergent people grow up learning that their natural behaviors or traits are "wrong" or "weird." To avoid bullying, judgment, or social exclusion, they hide their neurodivergent traits and try to conform to neurotypical standards. Many times, authority figures such as teachers, parents, and coaches will inadvertently shame a neurodivergent child for their natural traits. They then internalize these messages and begin masking as a way to cope. 
   

• Want to fit in: Masking can be a way to blend in with peers and avoid standing out in social situations. For autistic and ADHD individuals, it can feel like an essential tool for building friendships, navigating school or work environments, and maintaining social connections. However, when many of a person’s relationships are built on their masked persona, they may not feel as deep or personal as they would like them to feel. This can further feelings of isolation. 
   

• Feel pressure to meet societal expectations: Societal norms often dictate how people should behave in public, and neurodivergent individuals may feel pressure to meet those expectations even if it feels uncomfortable or unnatural. Women and gender-diverse individuals, in particular, may feel a heightened pressure to conform to social norms related to emotional expression, communication, and appearance. 
   

• Have internalized ableism: Growing up in a world that stigmatizes neurodivergent traits can lead to internalized ableism—the belief that neurotypical behavior is "better" or more "valuable" than neurodivergent behavior. This can drive neurodivergent individuals to mask in order to feel worthy or accepted.
   

What Does Masking Feel Like?

Masking can feel like putting in a lot of effort to hide one’s true emotions, thoughts, and behaviors from the outside world. While masking may help someone fit in or avoid conflict, it can also be deeply exhausting and alienating. It can lead to worsened mental health outcomes and be difficult to unlearn. 
 

• Draining: Masking requires constant mental effort to monitor and control one’s behavior. Neurodivergent individuals often describe feeling mentally and emotionally drained after masking for extended periods, such as during a day at work or school.
   

• Inauthentic: Masking can create a sense of disconnection from one’s true self. Neurodivergent individuals may feel as though they are pretending to be someone else, leading to feelings of inauthenticity or even self-betrayal.
   

• Anxiety-Inducing: The fear of being "found out" or having one’s mask slip can cause significant anxiety. Many people who mask often feel a constant sense of vigilance, worried that others might notice they are different or that their neurodivergent traits will be exposed.
   

• Lonely: Masking often involves suppressing one’s true emotions and behaviors, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Even in social situations, individuals who mask may feel disconnected from others because they are not being their authentic selves.
   

The Impact of Masking on the Nervous System

Masking doesn’t just affect emotions; it also has a significant impact on the nervous system. Constantly suppressing natural behaviors and maintaining a heightened level of vigilance can put the body into a state of chronic stress. Over time, this can lead to what is often referred to as "autistic burnout” or "neurodivergent burnout," which is a state of extreme exhaustion and reduced functioning.

When the body is in a state of stress, the autonomic nervous system (which controls the body’s stress response) is activated. This can lead to:
 

• Increased cortisol levels: Chronic masking can cause the body to release elevated levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. Over time, high cortisol levels can lead to physical health problems, such as digestive issues, weakened immune function, and increased risk of chronic diseases.
   

• Fight, flight, or freeze responses: Masking can keep the body in a prolonged state of fight, flight, or freeze, which are natural responses to perceived threats. For neurodivergent individuals, masking may feel like a constant state of being on high alert, which can contribute to anxiety, panic attacks, and other stress-related symptoms.
   

• Burnout: The toll of masking can accumulate over time, leading to burnout. Neurodivergent burnout is characterized by extreme fatigue, withdrawal from social activities, reduced ability to function, and heightened sensitivity to stimuli. It can take weeks, months, or even years to recover from burnout, making masking a risky long-term coping mechanism.
   

The Importance of Unmasking

Unmasking, allowing oneself to express neurodivergent traits without fear of judgment or rejection, is a crucial step toward self-acceptance and well-being. Unmasking allows individuals to live more authentically, honor their natural needs, and create environments where they feel safe and supported.

Unmasking can be a gradual process, as it involves challenging years of learned behavior and internalized ableism. When beginning your unmasking journey, it’s important to have these supports in place:
 

• Recognizing and validating neurodivergent traits: The first step to unmasking is recognizing and accepting one’s neurodivergent traits as valid and worthy of expression. This may involve learning more about one’s neurotype, connecting with other neurodivergent individuals, and reframing neurodivergence as a neutral aspect of one’s personhood rather than a deficit.
   

• Creating safe spaces: Unmasking is easier when done in environments that are supportive and accepting. Surrounding oneself with understanding friends, family, or communities can provide a safe space to explore and express neurodivergent behaviors without fear of judgment.
   

• Prioritizing self-care: Unmasking also involves listening to the body’s needs and prioritizing self-care. This may mean allowing oneself to stim, taking sensory breaks, or creating routines that honor one’s natural rhythms and energy levels.
   

Conclusion

Masking is a behavior that many neurodivergent individuals adopt as a means of surviving in a neurotypical world. While it can provide short-term benefits, such as avoiding stigma or fitting in, the long-term consequences can be profound, leading to stress, burnout, and disconnection from one’s true self.

The process of unmasking autism as an autistic adult, and in general as a neurodivergent adult, is a powerful act of self-acceptance and liberation. By recognizing and embracing their neurodivergent traits, individuals can live more authentically, reduce the stress on their nervous system, and build a life that aligns with their true selves. Ultimately, unmasking is a journey toward greater self-compassion, connection, and well-being for neurodivergent individuals.