Masking autism: Common masking traits and behaviors

Roughly 2% of American adults have been diagnosed with autism. However, many autistic adults remain undiagnosed due to a variety of factors. Untrained and unspecialized providers may fail to identify autistic traits in high-masking individuals who present with more subtle external signs, even though high-masking individuals often experience significant internal struggles. This is called masking or camouflaging, and individuals who were assigned female at birth tend to mask more frequently than individuals assigned male at birth. 

What is autistic masking?

Masking, or camouflaging, are terms used to describe when a person conceals or suppresses parts of their authentic selves to better fit in with the world around them. Masking commonly starts in childhood as a survival or social strategy. Autistic children may begin masking by observing, learning and practicing certain “neurotypical” behaviors, and subsequently suppressing other behaviors in an effort to appear more like others. Or masking may be taught through applied behavioral analysis (ABA) or similar “treatment.” ABA and similar modalities aim to suppress differences and force autistic children into acting neurotypical, which can be incredibly harmful. 

In a neurotypical world, masking is a strategy that autistic and other neurodivergent people adopt that can actually be extremely draining and can often contribute to burnout. This strategy is an attempt to be accepted by a world that sometimes doesn't understand them. In turn, they resort to masking because they don’t feel safe or welcome to express themselves fully. This can be very uncomfortable. For example, a high-masking person might force themselves to make eye contact, or suppress their stims, even though it is very uncomfortable or stressful for them to do so. As a result, medical providers often incorrectly assume that someone is allistic because they are making eye contact, engaging in social relationships, or demonstrating other behaviors typically thought of as neurotypical, explaining why those who learn to mask often go undiagnosed.

What does autistic masking look like?

Masking can vary from person to person, but here are a few examples of how it can look:

• Mimicking gestures, affect, tone, or phrases

• Developing rehearsed responses to questions (scripting) 

• Suppressing stimming behaviors

• Making oneself push through sensory discomforts

• Hiding special interests or adopting interests that are more popular

• Forcing eye contact 

• Carefully adjusting one’s words and actions according to neurotypical expectations 

• People-pleasing

• Forcing oneself to engage in uncomfortable interactions 

Why do people mask autism?

An autistic person may choose to do this for a number of reasons, including:

• Concern for personal safety (e.g., due to bullying, verbal or emotional attacks, intimidation, exploitation or violence)

• A desire to fit in, not stand out or be “othered”

• To improve employment opportunities

• To make and build relationships

• To please others or meet neurotypical expectations

• To lessen the risk of being judged in social situations

Who is likely to mask their autism?

An autistic person may feel the pressure or need to hide their authentic self to meet societal expectations. Some autistic people are more likely to mask their autism, including:

• Those who identify as women

• Those who experienced bullying or social rejection

• Those who are concerned about social stigma and societal expectations

• Members of the LGBTQIA2S+ community 

• People of color

What are the effects of autistic masking?

Masking one’s autism can have adverse effects, including:

• Stress and anxiety — Research shows that autistic people who routinely mask their autism experience higher rates of stress and anxiety. 

• Depression — Autistic people who mask are more likely to experience depression and feel unaccepted by their peers. 

• Exhaustion — Hiding your true self is emotionally and mentally exhausting due to the enormous effort it continuously requires. This can often lead to burnout and require long periods of recovery.

• Delayed diagnosis — Some people are so successful with masking they may not be diagnosed until adulthood. This can lead to a delay in mental health support or understanding they may need. 

• Loss of identity — After masking so long, many late-identified autistic individuals go through a process of rediscovering who they truly are. 

• Increased risk of suicidal ideation — Masking can lead to an increased risk of suicidality. 

The full impact of autistic masking is not yet publicly understood and continues to be studied, but many actually autistic people have been sharing about their masking experiences, which is incredibly validating for the rest of the community. The best way to help autistic people is to establish safe and supportive environments that can help them feel more comfortable to show up as themselves without fear of judgment or repercussions. Acceptance and appreciation of the full spectrum of neurodiversity allows people to express themselves more authentically.  

Tips for high-masking autistics 

If you’re a high-masking autistic person, you aren’t alone. Self-discovery can be a long process, but here are some tips that can help you connect with your true self:

• Practice self-acceptance — The first step of the unmasking process happens when you can be honest about who you are, what your differences are, and what your needs are. Working with an autism-affirming therapist or coach can be beneficial in helping you identify and accept these important aspects of yourself. 

• Learn to identify and express your feelings — Check in with yourself frequently about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Feelings identification is a great way to notice how you are feeling and identify what your needs are in a given moment. You may notice that you have been masking all day and after your check-in, you actually feel uncomfortable, overstimulated and tired. It’s OK to take a break to recover, especially after masking all day.  

• Ask for what you need — Everyone has needs. When you can advocate for your needs, it can help others understand how you need to be supported. There is nothing wrong with needing additional support or asking for an accommodation. It’s also OK to set boundaries and say no to situations that make you feel uncomfortable.  

• Find your tribe — It is vital to surround yourself with supportive people who you can be yourself with. Even though masking is sometimes unavoidable, it’s such a relief when you can spend time in safe spaces with people who accept you. It can be incredibly healing to connect with other neurodivergent people who just “get it.” At NeuroSpark, we surround ourselves with other neurodivergent people who accept and celebrate differences. Join our community through social media or sign up for our newsletter to read stories from neurodivergent people who share their lived experience every day. 

NeuroSpark can help you on your journey of identity exploration 

At NeuroSpark, we proudly embrace and celebrate authenticity, both in ourselves and in you. Our neurodivergent therapists and coaches operate from a place of lived experience and total acceptance. With the help of autism-affirming coaching or autism-affirming therapy, you can learn to discover and embrace your neurodivergent identity. You’re not alone on this journey.