Autism and Aversion to Touch

Image of a person’s hand touching another person’s leg, but they appear to be averse to touch or uncomfortable with this touch.

By: NeuroSpark Health

Touch is often viewed as a fundamental part of human interaction. Whether it’s a handshake, a hug, or a comforting pat on the shoulder, many people rely on physical contact as a way to connect and communicate. However, for some autistic people, touch can be an overwhelming, distressing, or even downright painful experience. Autism and aversion to touch are closely linked, with many autistic individuals reporting heightened sensitivities to physical contact that make everyday touch interactions challenging.

In supporting autistic people, it’s important to understand what touch feels like, the underlying reasons for this aversion, and how to support individuals who experience it. By understanding the sensory processing sensitivities associated with autism and aversion to touch, we can create more supportive and inclusive environments for autistic people.

What Does Touch Feel Like to Autistic People Who Are Averse to It?

For autistic individuals who experience tactile avoidance or an aversion to touch, physical contact may be far from soothing or enjoyable. Instead, it can feel uncomfortable, painful, or even distressing. The sensory experience of touch varies widely from person to person, but common feelings autistic people who are averse to touch might describe are:

Intense Sensation: One of the hallmark traits of autism and aversion to touch is the feeling that physical contact is more intense than it is for neurotypical individuals. What might feel like a light touch to one person can feel overwhelmingly strong to an autistic person, as if their skin is being overstimulated or on fire. This can make even casual or incidental touch, like brushing past someone in a crowd, deeply uncomfortable. Personally, I find light touch incredibly uncomfortable. Even as a baby, I’ve been told that I would writhe away from a light touch. In order to be touched, I personally need lots of pressure.
Irritation or Pain: Some autistic people experience touch as physically painful or irritating. This can be particularly true for certain textures, pressure levels, or temperatures. For example, touch that is too light or even the sensation of certain fabrics might feel unbearable. Certain textures causing dysregulation is a common autistic experience. Personally, I can’t stand the feeling of velvet. When I’m at the thrift store, searching through the racks, if I accidentally touch something velvet I feel an intense need to physically wipe my hands off to “get rid of” the texture feeling.
Loss of Control: For many autistic individuals, touch can feel intrusive and violate their sense of control over their own bodies. This lack of control can cause feelings of anxiety or panic, as they may not have the ability to predict or manage the sensations they are experiencing. This aspect of autism and aversion to touch makes it difficult for many autistic people to enjoy spontaneous or unplanned physical contact.
Emotional Discomfort: Beyond the physical sensations, the aversion to touch can also be tied to emotional discomfort. Some autistic people may find touch to be emotionally overwhelming, which can lead to stress or feelings of being emotionally “drained” after physical contact. This aversion may not only be about the sensation of touch itself but also the emotional expectations that come with it, such as needing to reciprocate a hug or express affection. Some autistic people who are hyper-empathetic may find that touch increases their absorption of other people’s emotions, which can be dysregulating.

Why Do Autistic People Experience an Aversion to Touch?

Autism and aversion to touch are rooted in sensory processing differences, which are common among autistic individuals. The sensory systems of autistic people often function differently, which can result in hypersensitivity to stimuli like light, sound, or touch. While not all autistic people are averse to touch, those who are typically have heightened sensitivity that affects how they perceive and respond to physical contact.

Sensory Processing Differences: Autism and aversion to touch are often explained through sensory processing differences, which refer to how the brain interprets and responds to sensory information. Autistic people may experience a sensory overload when touched, where their brain processes the sensation with more intensity than expected. This can lead to a feeling of overwhelm or even distress in situations where touch is unavoidable.
Neurological Differences: Neurologically, autistic people’s brains may respond to touch in ways that are different from allistic or neurotypical individuals. Certain neural pathways that regulate sensory input may function differently in autistic individuals, leading to an exaggerated response to touch stimuli. Research suggests that autistic people may have heightened sensitivity to external stimuli, including touch, which can make physical contact feel unbearable.
Previous Negative Experiences: In some cases, past negative experiences with touch may contribute to an autistic person’s aversion. If an autistic individual has previously experienced touch as painful, uncomfortable, or overwhelming, they may develop a strong association between touch and distress. Over time, this association can lead to a heightened aversion, making physical contact feel even more unbearable in the future. Many autistic people have experienced trauma as well, which can further increase one’s aversion to touch.
Emotional and Social Contexts: Touch is often associated with emotional and social expectations, such as displays of affection or comfort. For some autistic people, these expectations can feel overwhelming or confusing, especially if they struggle with understanding social cues. The emotional weight of physical touch can make it even more challenging to navigate, leading to a greater aversion in situations where touch is expected, like greeting someone with a hug.

How Autism and Aversion to Touch Can Affect Daily Life

Autism and aversion to touch can impact various aspects of an individual’s life, from social interactions to self-care routines.

Avoidance of Social Situations: Autistic people who are averse to touch may avoid social situations where physical contact is common, such as gatherings with friends or family. This can lead to feelings of isolation or exclusion, especially if others don’t understand their need for boundaries around touch. For example, if an autistic person grew up in a family where physical touch was required, such as giving hugs to family members, this can increase the desire to avoid these familial situations.
Challenges with Relationships: In relationships, whether familial, platonic, or romantic, the aversion to touch can sometimes create misunderstandings. Loved ones may interpret the aversion as a lack of affection or emotional connection when, in reality, it’s about the individual’s need to regulate sensory input. Autistic people often have different ways of expressing affection that neurotypical society often doesn’t recognize as valid, which furthers the stereotype that autistic people don’t like to display affection. However, just because an autistic person is averse to physical touch does not mean that they can’t show affection or care about others.
Difficulties with Personal Care: Touch aversion can also affect self-care routines, such as bathing, grooming, or wearing certain types of clothing. Sensitivity to certain textures or sensations may make these activities uncomfortable or even painful, leading to avoidance or distress when performing necessary daily tasks. For example, I have always struggled with the feelings of lotion and sunscreens, which has made it difficult over the years to take care of my skin. It’s taken a lot of trial and error to find products that don’t feel too horrible on my skin and ways to get used to the sensation as much as possible.

Supporting Autistic People Who Are Averse to Touch

Understanding and respecting autism and aversion to touch is crucial in creating supportive and inclusive environments for autistic individuals. While each person’s needs and preferences will vary, there are several ways to offer support to those who experience touch aversion:

Respecting Boundaries: The most important step in supporting touch-averse autistic individuals is to respect their boundaries. If an autistic person expresses discomfort with physical touch, it’s essential to honor their experience without pressuring them to engage in touch-based interactions. This can help build trust and ensure that they feel safe and respected in social situations.
Asking for Consent: For some autistic individuals, touch may be acceptable in certain contexts but not others. Asking for consent before initiating physical contact can give the individual control over the situation, helping to reduce feelings of anxiety or overwhelm. A simple question like “Is it okay if I give you a hug?” allows the person to make a choice based on their current comfort level.
Offering Alternatives to Physical Affection: For loved ones of autistic individuals with touch aversion, finding alternative ways to show affection can be a meaningful way to maintain emotional connections. Instead of a hug, consider offering verbal affirmations, thoughtful gestures, or quality time spent together. Understanding autistic forms of affection, like infodumping and parallel play, for example, can be far more meaningful to an autistic person. These alternatives can help convey care and love without relying on physical touch.
Accommodating Sensory Needs: In environments where touch is unavoidable, such as medical appointments or crowded spaces, providing accommodations can help autistic individuals feel more comfortable. For example, offering sensory toys, weighted blankets, soft fabrics, or calming sensory tools can help regulate sensory input and reduce the distress associated with touch. Additionally, creating quiet spaces or allowing the individual to leave situations where touch is overwhelming can offer valuable relief.
Education and Advocacy: Educating others about autism and aversion to touch can help reduce stigma and promote understanding. Learning about different sensory profiles and advocacy for sensory-friendly environments, both in public spaces and within families or friend groups, is essential for ensuring that autistic individuals feel supported. By raising awareness about the sensory challenges that some autistic people face, we can create more inclusive communities that respect individual differences.

How Autistic People Can Advocate for Their Own Needs

For autistic individuals who are averse to touch, advocating for personal boundaries and needs is an important skill. While it can be difficult to assert boundaries in a world that often expects physical contact, self-advocacy can help reduce discomfort and create more positive social interactions.

Communicating Boundaries Clearly: Being upfront about touch aversion can help prevent or diffuse uncomfortable situations. Autistic people can practice communicating their boundaries in a straightforward and assertive way, such as saying, “I’m not comfortable with hugs, but I’m happy to shake hands,” or “I prefer not to be touched, but I’m excited to spend time together.”
Using Visual or Written Cues: For autistic individuals who find verbal communication challenging, using visual or written cues can be an effective way to convey boundaries. Wearing a pin or bracelet that says “No Hugs” or “Ask Before Touching” can serve as a visual reminder to others. Alternatively, providing written explanations of sensory sensitivities can help reduce misunderstandings in social or professional settings.
Building a Supportive Network: Surrounding oneself with understanding friends, family, or colleagues can make it easier to advocate for touch-related boundaries. When others are aware of an individual’s sensory needs, they are more likely to respect those boundaries and offer accommodations.

It is important to remember that boundaries are there for a reason. If someone continually crosses a boundary that you have explicitly stated, it is fully reasonable to uphold that boundary and adjust your relationship to the person accordingly. Sometimes, people need to realize that there are consequences for crossing boundaries before they are willing to accept and respect them. While it is the expectation that people will respect boundaries, if and when they don’t, it is then your responsibility to uphold them.

Conclusion

Autism and aversion to touch at varying levels is a common experience for many autistic individuals. For those who are touch-averse, physical contact can feel overwhelming, painful, or emotionally draining, making everyday interactions challenging. However, with understanding, respect, and support, it is possible to create environments where autistic people can participate without compromising their sensory needs. By respecting boundaries, offering alternatives to physical touch, and advocating for sensory-friendly accommodations, we can create inclusive and supportive spaces for neurodivergent individuals. Understanding the sensory sensitivities associated with autism and aversion to touch is not just about offering comfort; it's about recognizing and valuing the diverse ways that people experience and interact with the world.