"Am I Autistic?": Understanding Signs of Autism in Adults

Due to our ever-increasing understanding of autism, many adults who have felt different, othered, or misunderstood throughout their lives may find themselves asking themselves, "Am I autistic?" This question can arise from a range of experiences and realizations, often spurred by learning about and relating to autistic traits. Understanding autism as a neurotype rather than a disorder or condition can provide a framework for exploring these questions and seeking a potential diagnosis or self-identification. For many late-discovered autistic adults, “Am I autistic?” is a question that is just the beginning of a long road of engaging in self-reflection, seeking psychoeducation, exploring accommodations, and finding support. 
 

Signs of Autism in Adults

Autism is often thought of in terms of its presentation in children, but many autistic adults were never diagnosed in childhood. This can be due to a variety of factors, including historical underdiagnosis, differences in how autism presents in different genders, and the ability of some individuals to mask their traits effectively. These are some common signs of autism in adults:
 

Social Interactions

Differences in social interactions can include (but are certainly not limited to):
 

1. Difficulty with Social Cues: Autistic adults might find it challenging to read social cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. They may struggle to understand when someone is being sarcastic or when a person is bored or disinterested in a conversation. For some autistic adults who mask heavily, they may be hyper-aware of changes in tone, facial expressions, and body language. However, despite noticing these subtle changes, they may still have difficulty knowing how to respond to them in the conversation. This can increase social anxiety and make it difficult to stay relaxed in conversations due to hypervigilance. 

2. Preference for Solitude: Some autistic individuals prefer spending time alone or with a small, familiar group of people. Large social gatherings can be overwhelming and exhausting. This is, in part, due to sensory sensitivities like sound, lights, and touching other people. Additionally, autistic individuals can be hypersensitive to the emotional states of others, which can be especially dysregulating in large crowds. 

3. Challenges in Building and Maintaining Friendships: For some autistic individuals, forming close relationships can be difficult. Autistic adults might feel unsure about how to initiate or maintain friendships and may often feel like they don't fit in with their peers. Many autistic adults have long histories of feeling different or misunderstood, some even experiencing bullying throughout their school years for being perceived as “different” by other kids their age. This can cause trauma for autistic adults that further increases the difficulty in making and maintaining close relationships. 
    

Communication Styles

Communication differences can include (but are certainly not limited to):
 

1. Literal Thinking: Autistic people often think in literal terms and might struggle with idioms, metaphors, or figures of speech. They may take statements at face value and miss the underlying meaning. Difficulty understanding sarcasm is a common autistic experience that may result in ridicule from others, especially while growing up. 

2. Monologuing: Some autistic individuals have a tendency to speak at length about their interests, sometimes without noticing if the listener is engaged. This can lead to difficulties in conversational turn-taking.

3. Difficulty with Small Talk: Engaging in small talk can be particularly challenging. Autistic individuals might find it hard to see the purpose of small talk and prefer deeper, more meaningful conversations. Many autistic adults report that small talk can even feel painful at times, which is extremely dysregulating to their nervous systems and further increases social anxiety. 
    

It is important to mention that many of these social and communication style differences are based on a neurotypical “norm”. For autistic individuals who are communicating and interacting with each other, many of these challenges diminish or disappear entirely due to comfortability and similarities in engaging with one another. For example, many autistic individuals enjoy listening to others talk about their special interests at length, and, in turn, they feel more comfortable discussing their special interests as well. Autistic individuals who feel comfortable with each other will skip small talk entirely, instead opting for deeper and more engrossing conversations. When viewed through an affirming lens, autistic communication is not seen as a deficit or something “wrong” but instead as a completely valid and beneficial means of communication. 
 

Sensory Sensitivities

Sensory differences can include (but are certainly not limited to):
 

1. Heightened Sensory Experiences: Many autistic adults are hypersensitive to sensory inputs such as bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, and certain textures. These experiences can be overwhelming and lead to sensory overload. 

2. Seeking Sensory Input: Additionally, autistic individuals might seek out sensory experiences, such as touching certain textures, listening to specific sounds, or engaging in activities that provide a particular sensory feedback. An autistic individual can be hypersensitive to certain sensory stimuli while at the same time seek out other forms of stimulation. 
    

Routine and Repetitive Behaviors

Repetitive behaviors can include (but is certainly not limited to):
 

1. Need for Routine: A strong preference for routine and predictability is common. Unexpected changes in plans or routines can cause significant stress and anxiety.

2. Repetitive Movements: Some autistic individuals engage in repetitive movements, known as stimming, such as rocking, tapping, squeezing something, and more. These behaviors can help manage anxiety or sensory overload. Stim toys can be very beneficial for autistic individuals, especially in replacing harmful stims such as picking or other forms of self-harm. 
    

These are some of the many experiences that, combined, may lead a person to wonder, “am I autistic?”
 

Signs that Could Be Mistaken for Other Diagnoses

Certain signs of autism in adults can often be mistaken for other diagnoses, leading to misdiagnosis or a delay in identifying autism. This is especially true due to the stigma surrounding autism and the fact that some providers don’t believe that adults can be diagnosed with autism. Understanding these overlapping signs is crucial for a more accurate self-assessment and subsequent formal diagnosis.
 

1. Social Anxiety: Difficulty in social situations, a preference for solitude, and anxiety around social interactions can be mistaken for social anxiety disorder. However, while social anxiety is centered around fear of social judgment, autism involves a fundamental difference in social communication and interaction.

2. ADHD: Autism and ADHD share many traits, such as difficulties with executive functioning, impulsivity, and sensory sensitivities. The key difference lies in the presence of repetitive behaviors and a strong need for routine in autism, which are not core characteristics of ADHD. However, many autistic adults are also ADHDers, which can make it even more challenging to recognize traits of both. 

3. OCD: The repetitive behaviors and need for routine in autism can resemble the compulsions seen in OCD. However, autistic repetitive behaviors are usually self-soothing or due to a preference for sameness, rather than being driven by intrusive, distressing thoughts. However, similar to ADHD, there is a large number of autistic individuals with OCD, further complicating the dual diagnosis. 

4. Depression and Anxiety Disorders: High levels of stress, social isolation, and challenges with daily functioning can lead to depression and anxiety, which might overshadow the underlying autistic traits. It’s essential to distinguish whether these mental health issues are primary or secondary to autism.

5. Personality Disorders: Traits such as difficulties with social relationships and atypical communication styles can sometimes be misinterpreted as personality disorders, especially borderline personality disorder (BPD). However, the developmental and neurobiological aspects of autism set it apart from personality disorders. Personality disorders seem to be especially misdiagnosed in AFAB individuals who are actually autistic. 

6. Learning Disabilities: Differences in processing information and difficulties in academic settings might lead to a misdiagnosis of learning disabilities. While some autistic individuals also have learning disabilities, autism itself involves a broader range of social, communicative, and behavioral traits.
    

Benefits of Identification

Receiving an autism diagnosis or discovering autistic identification as an adult can be a transformative experience, offering a range of benefits that contribute to personal well-being and self-understanding.
 

Self-Acceptance

Once a person moves past the “am I autistic phase” they eventually reach a place of identification and discovery. One of the most significant benefits of identification is the validation and self-acceptance it can bring. Understanding that one's differences are part of a recognized neurotype can alleviate feelings of self-doubt and confusion. It can provide a framework for understanding past experiences and challenges, leading to greater self-compassion and acceptance.
 

Access to Support and Resources

An official identification can open doors to support and resources that might have been inaccessible otherwise. This can include access to autism accommodations at work or school, therapy and counseling services, and community support groups. These resources can help autistic adults navigate their daily lives more effectively and improve their overall quality of life.
 

Improved Mental Health

Understanding and accepting one's autistic traits can have a positive impact on mental health. It can reduce the stress and anxiety associated with masking and pretending to be neurotypical. Many autistic adults report feeling a sense of relief and clarity after receiving their identification, which can lead to a decrease in symptoms of depression and anxiety.
 

Enhanced Self-Advocacy

Knowing that one is autistic can empower individuals to advocate for their needs more effectively. This can involve requesting accommodations in the workplace, seeking sensory-friendly environments, and communicating one's needs and preferences to friends and family. Improved self-advocacy can lead to more fulfilling and supportive relationships.
 

Neurodivergent Coaching for Autistic Adults

Neurodivergent coaching has emerged as a valuable resource for autistic adults, providing tailored support and strategies to navigate various aspects of life. This form of coaching recognizes the unique challenges and strengths of autistic individuals and focuses on enhancing their quality of life through personalized guidance.
 

What is Neurodivergent Coaching?

Neurodivergent coaching involves working with a coach who understands autism and other neurodivergent traits. These coaches are trained to offer support in a way that respects the neurodivergent experience, emphasizing strengths and finding practical solutions to challenges. Oftentimes, neurodivergent coaches are neurodivergent themselves, which provides valuable life experience and solidarity with the client. Neurodivergent coaching can cover a wide range of areas, including:
 

1. Social Skills and Communication: Coaches can help individuals develop more effective communication strategies and build confidence in social interactions while encouraging and supporting their natural autistic forms of communication.

2. Executive Functioning: Many autistic individuals struggle with executive functioning skills, such as planning, organizing, and time management. Coaches can provide tools and techniques to improve these skills and make daily tasks more manageable.

3. Sensory Management: Coaches can offer strategies for managing sensory sensitivities, including creating sensory-friendly environments and finding ways to cope with sensory overload.

4. Career Development: Neurodivergent coaching can assist with job searching, workplace accommodations, and career advancement. Coaches can help individuals identify suitable career paths that align with their strengths and interests.

5. Self-Advocacy: Coaches can empower individuals to advocate for their needs in various settings, including the workplace, educational institutions, and personal relationships.
    

Steps to Take if You Suspect You Might Be Autistic

If you find yourself asking, "Am I autistic?" and recognize some of the signs and behaviors described in this article, there are several steps you can take to explore this possibility further.
 

Self-Reflection and Research

Start by reflecting on your experiences and behaviors. Consider how they align with the common signs of autism in adults. Reading books, articles, and personal accounts from other autistic individuals can provide valuable insights and help you understand your own experiences better.
 

Online Assessments

There are several online assessments and quizzes designed to help individuals determine whether they might be autistic. While these tools are not diagnostic, they can provide useful information and help you decide whether to pursue a formal assessment. One such tool is the Autism-Spectrum Quotient (AQ), which measures the extent of autistic traits in adults. Other options include the RAADS-R and the CAT-Q. 
 

Seeking a Formal Assessment

A formal autism assessment for adults conducted by a qualified professional is the most reliable way to determine whether you are autistic. This process typically involves several steps, including:
 

1. Initial Consultation: Meeting with a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other professional experienced in assessing autism. They will gather information about your developmental history, current behaviors, and experiences.

2. Diagnostic Interviews: These interviews may involve detailed questions about your social interactions, communication styles, sensory sensitivities, and routines.

3. Standardized Assessments: You might be asked to complete standardized assessments designed to measure autistic traits. These can include questionnaires and observational assessments.

4. Feedback and Diagnosis: After completing the assessment, the professional will provide feedback and, if appropriate, an official diagnosis.
    

Connecting with the Autistic Community

Many autistic adults find it helpful to connect with others who share their experiences. Online forums, social media groups, and local support groups can provide a sense of community and belonging. Sharing experiences and learning from others can be incredibly validating and supportive.
 

Conclusion

Asking yourself "Am I autistic?" is the beginning of a significant and personal journey that can lead to greater self-understanding and acceptance. Recognizing the signs of autism in adults, understanding the impact of masking, exploring the benefits of identification, and considering neurodivergent coaching can provide valuable insights and support. If you suspect you might be autistic, taking steps to seek a formal assessment and connect with the autistic community can be empowering and transformative.